Living abroad is not easy. Regardless of how enthusiastic you are, sooner or later there will be challenges to face, and even obstacles that cannot be overcome. And that’s the way it should be, really. What’s not okay at all is that social media, magazines and podcasts are flooding expats with perfectionist content and sometimes toxic positive thoughts.
- 10 things you should definitely try in Paris (It doesn’t matter if you don’t have time because you’re working)
- Top 5 things in Europe/America that just make sense (Things that actually drive you nuts)
- Tell me you’re Eastern European without telling me (Things that make your new acquaintances look at you strangely and make you feel bad)
And on and on and on. I think all these contents can be very entertaining, and it’s great that so many people can grasp these differences so well, but what about the people who for various emotional and financial reasons don’t fit in so easily? Why don’t we produce more content for them? Yes, why are WE not producing more content? I have been producing mostly cheerfully optimistic posts too. That’s why I decided to share with you my top 5 pain points as an expat that I can’t and probably will never get over. And that’s the way it should be too, really.
- I can’t shout at anyone why I wasn’t invited to a job interview. Even though it’s quite clear that it’s because I’m a foreigner, I can’ t prove it.
- I can’t send anyone to hell who has ever been rude to me because I didn’t understand their pronunciation or because they didn’t understand mine.
- I can’t do anything about questions like “Are you members of the EU? Really? And is your driving licence valid here?” No, it doesn’t. In fact, we don’t even have a driving licence, we ride on donkeys. Idiot.
- I can’t do anything about questions like “Do you have the same bachelor’s and master’s degrees as we do? Wow. Really?” No. We have everyone studying together regardless of age, and we only do primary school.
- I can never change the fact that I wasn’t born here, so I’ll always be a foreigner even if I get citizenship.
Notes
I am not saying that we should not be optimistic or that we should not try to make the best of every situation. I believe in the power of a positive attitude. But! But sometimes you can get fed up with too much optimism. Sometimes it’s okay to feel like shit, to feel like nothing in the world is working out. Sometimes it’s good to have a good cry and then get up and move on. I’ve been reading a lot about toxic optimism lately and found it very interesting, but I’m no expert, so I’ll not start writing about it. Instead, if you want to learn more about it too, you can find a podcast in Hungarian with Krisztina D. Tóth and Noémi Orvos-Tóth or you can find many articles on the topic in English, I recommend the following three:
What to know about toxic positivity
Being too positive can actually be ‘toxic’. Here’s why it’s dangerous
The ‘Tyranny’ of Positive Thinking Can Threaten Your Health and Happiness
Did I miss anything? Would you like to add something to my list or do you have your own? Let me know via email or Instagram.
